Biggie: Motorcycle Club Romance (Savage Saints MC Book 12) Read online

  Richard and Trace gave a curt nod before heading toward the reception. Marcel looked at me, a firm look of determination all on his face.

  “There is no mercy now,” he said. “I know you have tried in the past to reach out to Kyle, and I appreciate that. I know that you will agree with me now that we must kill him. But Jack. I’m telling you this not as a Savage Saint, but as a man. You must not show mercy. This is not playing around. This is not something where we have a parent or Uncle to break it up. We are all that’s left. And we have to do whatever it takes to kill Kyle. No matter what. No matter what he says. Understood?”

  “Yes,” I said immediately.

  “That’s good,” Marcel said. “Remember that when the moment of truth comes. Because I’m going to need you to help me finish him, Jack. If I don’t have your support when the barrel of the gun is pointed to his head…”

  He didn’t finish. I nodded. He walked to the reception, and I took a few seconds to truly embrace what he had said.

  He didn’t mean now. He didn’t mean before we drove off on our bikes. He meant the actual, literal moment.

  Yeah, I was going to show no mercy.

  And if I did, it wasn’t going to be in the presence of anyone else.

  I felt my phone buzz as I headed to the reception area. I’d felt it buzz a couple of times, but for obvious reasons, I had not checked. Now, with all the official ceremonies out of the way and nothing but some toasts left to share, I pulled out my phone and read the message.

  “Jack, I’ve thought a lot about this morning and the past few days. I think I’m safest if we aren’t together. I’m sorry.”

  Chapter 16: Lilly

  I closed out of the Messenger app as soon as I sent the text to Jack. I locked my phone, muted the sounds, and stuffed it as far down into my purse as I could go.

  I was pushing him away as much as I was trying to hide from the decision that I had just made. And I didn’t mean the decision to put the kibosh on what Jack and I had.

  I meant the decision to ever get involved with the Stones in the first place. While it was true to some extent that I couldn’t have connected the dots on Kyle and Jack without knowing Jack’s last name, it was true that I had a gut feeling that I knew Jack from somewhere. It was so obvious now what that somewhere was—he shared the same eyes as Kyle, and had both been in the same mood, they would have shared the same smile.

  Immediately, before my phone had even hit the bottom of my purse, I could hear the ringtone going off. I let it go as I opened Fires of the City on my laptop and tried to take myself to the most recent chapter needing editing. I waited for the whole half-minute before the phone stopped ringing—always interesting how such a ring seemed to last far longer than anyone ever wanted when they weren’t going to send it straight to voicemail—and then took a deep breath.

  And the damn phone rang again.

  This time, I pulled it out of my purse. Yes, it was Jack. No, I wasn’t going to answer. I hit the mute button to silence it, put it back in my purse, and then went back to the book. Let’s see…“The skies had turned a burnt orange. Chaos reigned over the city.” Is reigned the right word? Might create imagery of rain. Like how Kyle rained on my parade—

  My phone rang again!

  I nearly slammed the table in frustration, only pulling back at the very last second. I pulled out my phone, silenced it again, and, after staring at it for a long time, finally put it back in my purse. If he called a fourth time, then fine, I would answer. But if he didn’t, well, I guess I’d get to edit, wouldn’t I?

  I went back to my page. “The skies had turned a burnt orange.” Does that evoke the right imagery? Is that too cliché? Is ignoring Jack three times in a row before answering on the fourth too cliché?

  Oh, heavens, Lilly. Stay focused.

  Stay focused on making a story better than the one you’re living out.

  I’m really not going to get any work done here, am I?

  I took another deep breath—whichever meditation guru had said it could work wonders was either full of it or just was one in a million—and closed my laptop. I went to the bathroom, hoping that just the act of getting up and moving around would do something for my sanity.

  I came back, opened my laptop, and retained a degree of focus.

  OK, burnt orange works. No, seared orange. More specific. Nice, that’s a win. OK. “Chaos reigned over the city.” Chaos is good enough by itself, right? Yeah, chaos shouldn’t need an adjective. OK, reigned? I can’t think of anything better. Hung is too simple. Let’s go with reign.

  Alright! Two sentences down…only probably another couple thousand or so to go.

  And then I can call Jack and we can figure this out, huh?

  Well, at least I’d had the focus to get a smidge of work done, even if it wasn’t everything that I’d hoped to do.

  I knew then that the only way I was going to get a modicum of peace was if I just addressed the elephant on my phone and called Jack. I refused to be that bitch who just ghosted someone after ending it, and aside from that, maybe if I just did it, I could focus on my work.

  I pulled out my phone. Jack hadn’t called back after his third attempt. But unless Kyle had suddenly shown up to stir up some shit, he wasn’t going to ignore my call. Begrudgingly and with some serious nerves, I dialed him back.

  “Lilly, hey,” he said after the first ring, clearly having already had the phone in his hand.

  “Hey, Jack,” I said. “You called?”

  What a stupid question. You know why he called.

  “Yeah, what’s going on? You feel safest without me? I just want to understand, Lilly.”

  “I know, I know,” I said.

  I hated taking this call in a coffee shop. I hated even more acknowledging that if I went outside to take it, there was a greater than fifty percent chance that Kyle would be stalking me and come over to me.

  “Forgive me for speaking quietly. I’m in a coffee shop.”

  “Lilly…”

  It was some small credit to him that he stopped himself from saying I needed to be home. Unfortunately for him, it wasn’t going to be enough to get me to change my mind about him.

  “Your brother is absolutely insane, Jack, you know that,” I said. “And you’re not. I can acknowledge that. But you two have some sort of feud that’s going to affect everyone around you. You say you’re going to keep me safe, but all that you’re going to do is drag me into the violence. I’m sorry, Jack. I know it seems unfair, and I think it is. I think life and circumstances are being unfair to us right now. But…I think it’s best for me.”

  Jack said “OK” a couple of times as he tried to process what I’d said. Hell, I needed a chance to process what I had said; even though I believed it, it was still the first time hearing it said out loud.

  “You know, Lilly, that he’s going to take the violence to you,” he said. “It doesn’t matter if you are far removed from me. It doesn’t matter if you had never been with me. You rejected him and hurt him, and that means that he’s going to come for you. Kyle is a vengeful, deranged person, Lilly. The law can’t protect you. He hasn’t done anything illegal yet. And if you tried to get a restraining order, I promise you he will find a way around it.”

  “Right, I understand that, but me being with you is only going to exacerbate that problem. If he sees me with you, it’s not going to increase my safety; it’s going to increase the likelihood of an imminent attack.”

  Jack caught himself as he tried to find the right words.

  “I’m just going to have to fundamentally disagree with you here, Lilly,” he said. “Yes, the women who get involved with the club sometimes face risks. That’s just part of what we do. But those women? They are also the ones who get rescued the fastest and who feel the safest. If Kyle comes to you, you know we’ll be coming for you. The police may come, but they won’t come as fast, and they won’t take justice into their hands as well.”

  I understood everything Jack was s
aying. At least, I thought I did. But he wasn’t going to change my mind. The more I spoke, in fact, the more settled in I felt about the decision.

  “Sorry, Jack,” I said.

  Jack caught his breath.

  “Tell me honestly, Lilly,” he said, words that made my heart skip a few beats. “Does this have anything to do with us? Pretend Kyle doesn’t exist. Does this have anything to do with us?”

  What would have felt better? The truth? Or something that would keep him further away?

  “No, it doesn’t,” I said. “But I’ve made my decision, Jack. You’re sweet, but I have to put my safety first.”

  I spoke those last few words so fast, it felt like I vomited them out. I didn’t want Jack to use the opening I had given him to help himself. He needed to know the door was shut.

  “OK,” he finally said. “I’m still going to keep an eye out for you, Lilly. Kyle is going to do something to you.”

  “And when he does, I’ll be ready, OK?” I said. “Look, I appreciate everything, Jack. You’re going to find a great girl. Just make sure she hasn’t also dated your brother.”

  I immediately regretted the attempt at humor. Jack sure wasn’t laughing.

  “Understood,” he said, sounding as defeated as I had ever heard him. “Take care, Lilly.”

  “Take care—”

  But he had already hung up. It was abrupt and far too quick of a disconnect. But then again, what right did I have to ask or fight for the way a phone call would end when I had just ended a relationship like so?

  I turned my eyes back to my book. I couldn’t even remember where I’d started.

  “The skies had turned a seared orange.” That’s stupid. Why the hell did I change that?

  Wait. I’m just going in circles right now. And I’m distracted. And I can’t think straight.

  What. The. Fuck.

  I just slammed my laptop closed in frustration. Some days, the words just weren’t going to come. That was doubly true on a day when I had had to cut off my best chance at love in years because of extenuating circumstances. Life sure could be awfully shitty sometimes. Life sure could throw a lot of fires of the skies your way.

  I gave myself a few moments as I gazed a thousand miles away, trying to see if I could re-center myself. It was no surprise that I could not, and when it was decided that I could not bring myself to that spot, I put my laptop in my bag, stood up, and headed outside.

  And, not surprisingly at all, not fucking surprisingly at all, Kyle stood at the street corner.

  “You know, the last time you left me—”

  “Fuck off, Kyle,” I said, giving him the middle finger. “Leave me the fuck alone before I get a restraining order on you, asshole!”

  I never stopped walking as I spoke, and I never looked his way as I spoke. In my peripheral vision, however, I could see him almost literally stagger back; I hadn’t hit him, but the impact of my words was almost like that of a punch.

  That behavior was so unlike me, but so much about me was unlike me right now. The circumstances of my life, my inability to focus, my rude and blunt manner…life was just a little too crazy.

  Maybe it wasn’t going to be the worst thing in the world if I became that crazy author who adopted five hundred pets. At least that way, I couldn’t get hurt like this. I could avoid getting into modern-day Cain and Abel stories. I could actually, you know, live and not die in either the metaphorical or literal cross-fire.

  In a sick way, when I got home, I actually did what Jack had requested of me. I sequestered myself in my apartment and decided I would not answer the door for anyone. The only way I was opening my door was if I knew who was knocking when I was in my bedroom; I was not going to use the peephole and risk someone ambushing me that way.

  It all just felt a little too fucked for reality. I told myself that in time, this would pass; in time, Kyle would find someone else to be a creepy loser to, Jack would find a woman to make him happy, and I’d find a man who wouldn’t be connected to Kyle.

  But that was of scant reassurance considering the kind of day that I had gone through.

  Eventually, when night fell and I went to bed, I had done approximately nothing with my entire day. Nothing. The only thing I had edited all day were those two sentences; I might as well have gone and worked as a waitress somewhere because I would have been more productive that way.

  As I curled up to bed, my emotions ranging from grief over the way things had unraveled to rage at how unproductive I had been, Jack kept coming back to mind. I had told him the truth—if not for Kyle, we’d still be together. That didn’t mean I wanted to kill Kyle, but….

  Oh, fuck. Maybe in another life, things would have worked out a little bit better.

  But in this one?

  I just had to accept that things had unraveled like so.

  * * *

  When I woke up the next morning, I had no respite from the Kyle-Jack saga.

  That was because I had had a dream that the two of them had pinned me down in the booth at P.M. Coffee and were demanding that I pick one. They weren’t fighting with each other; in fact, it was almost like the two of them didn’t know the other was there, even though they were separated by no more than a foot.

  It was, in a sense, the whole devil and angel on my shoulder, trying to guide me in a certain direction. Except in this case, the devil wasn’t tempting because of the promise of a thrill or great sex; he wasn’t tempting at all. He only had sway because he was trying to coerce me into going with him.

  Luckily, I was pretty sure that yesterday afternoon’s aggressive gesture had at least given me a reprieve of some kind.

  I headed to the kitchen and pulled out the ingredients to make breakfast, but I paused just before I cracked my first egg. I had too much work to do to spend half an hour prepping and eating; I needed to get to the coffee shop, make up for my crappy day of work yesterday, and then I could just eat at the shop. I hated to spend money, but I hated being unproductive even more.

  I threw on some half-decent clothes, made sure my hair didn’t look like a complete and utter hot mess, and headed for my front door. I swung it open and gasped.

  “The fuck are you doing here?” I said as I put my hand over my heart.

  Kyle stood there, his hands in his pockets, a sickening smirk on his face, his shoulders raised high in tension, as if he’d prepared for this battle.

  “I’ve come here to make you an offer, or a choice, really,” he said.

  It was unnerving how calm his voice was. It was like he knew he was in complete control and I wasn’t. I decided then that I was going to call the police, report Kyle for harassment, and deal with the fallout from there. I didn’t care what Jack had said. This man needed to be taken down.

  “You can come with me, and nothing will happen other than you being with me,” he said. “Or, you can say no. You can walk back inside, make whatever phone calls you need to, or you can walk downstairs and go wherever it was you thought you were going.”

  Thought I was going?

  “Either way, there will be consequences. And I assure you, these are not consequences that you will get to relish in or enjoy. These are consequences that you will suffer from.”

  “You’re so full of shit, Kyle,” I said, deciding I was not going to let him tell me what to do. Nor, I decided, was he going to make me be a prisoner of my own apartment. “Just so you know, I am going to call the police and have you reported. Your political career is going to be over. It’s too bad, you know. I thought you were a decent man who got dealt a bad hand in life. Now, I realize that you’re just a bad man who got dealt a decent hand and squandered it by being a sicko.”

  “Such simple words for an author,” Kyle said, shaking his head. “Very well. You made your choice. You will suffer accordingly.”

  What a sick, sick man. I’d feel bad for you if it weren’t for the fact that this is all deliberate.

  Kyle, despite his big words, just let me brush by. He didn’t touch
me, didn’t say anything else, didn’t even look at me as I moved past him. I wanted so badly to give him another middle finger, but at this point, the less that was said and done by me, the better. The police had to take the reins on this one—and if they didn’t, I was going to bombard their office with phone calls every fucking day.

  And then, before I’d walked another five feet, two burly, thick-built, thuggish-looking men appeared out of nowhere and stopped in front of me. They didn’t touch me, but they made it very clear that they weren’t going to let me go anywhere.

  “Allow me, because I am such a nice guy, to make this offer again,” Kyle said, walking up to the three of us. “You can come with me. Nothing will happen to you. In fact, you’ll get plenty of time to work on your novel. Or, you can resist. But I think now, you can see that the consequences of fighting back are, shall we say, a little bit bigger than you might have expected.”

  “You fucking psycho,” I growled, but I kept my voice low. “You’ll pay for this.”

  Kyle, to my surprise, just laughed at that.

  “Absolutely. One of us will. With our lives.”

  One of us? With our lives? What the fuck…

  Is Kyle suicidal?

  It sure sounded like it—but I didn’t mean in the depressed sense. He sounded like he wanted to watch the whole world burn, and if it cost him his life, so be it.

  But in this case, the whole world wasn’t the literal world, and I didn’t think it was Brooklyn, either.

  Instead, I realized with grim horror, his world meant me and maybe his two brothers. I was going to die at some point under his watch unless Jack and Kyle did something.

  At this point, then, the game wasn’t escape or evade. It was delay. And as terrifying as that prospect was, letting these two thugs behind me do whatever they wanted was even more horrifying.

  “Fine, let’s go.”

  “Good girl,” Kyle said, putting his hand on my cheek and patting him. “I knew you’d make the right choice.”

  The only reason I didn’t slap him right there was because I wanted to save it until I knew it was the last thing I’d ever do.