Honey (Full Throttle Series) Read online

  “I wanted to.”

  And that right there was the sweetest thing ever. Something warmed me deep inside, slow and steady and taking my breath away with it. Clarity came, and I realized that I wouldn’t be able to look at him now without my heart warming up.

  And that was just dangerous.

  The panic set in, just as slow and steady. It was what catapulted me forward, pulling him away from what he was doing and ignoring his questions as I led him to the couch. I pressed my mouth to his, and the response was instantaneous—a slight pulling and his tongue tangling with mine, turning the heat up and making me want more skin to skin contact. But he froze all of a sudden, then pushed me back gently right before I could straddle his lap. My body throbbed with want, and proof of his arousal was also visible in his trousers, which had already tented. His eyes were darker than usual, but his brows were creased with worry as he firmly sat me beside him.

  “Your shoulder.”

  I forgot about my shoulder, but I remembered the doctor’s advice to put it to rest. Obviously, physical activities like sex weren’t rest. But I wanted to do this—wanted to alleviate the panic inside me and the feelings that were developing along with it.

  I couldn’t afford such feelings, and there was only one way to keep it all casual again.

  So I gave him a sly smile, shaking my head as mischief slid in me. “Just relax. We won’t have sex, but I want to thank you properly.”

  “Honey—”

  I shot him a look, one that told him to stop talking. Then I pushed off the couch and knelt in front of him, not missing the way his eyes widened. I ignored the look and went for his trousers, unbuttoning and unzipping. A strangled sound came from his throat, but I focused my eyes on the hand I slipped in. A few strokes, and I finally took his cock out.

  It was now very hard, jutting out and pulsing against my fingers. He was thick and long, the perfect combination, with a smooth, mushroom-shaped tip that was already leaking pre-cum. My mouth watered at the sight. I tried swallowing a gulp, but it was difficult. I looked up, stilling when I found his gaze on me. The worry was still there, but now it was mixed with something akin to anticipation. His hands were fisted on the couch, and only one thought reigned in my mind now.

  That of wanting him to lose his precious control.

  I smiled again, keeping it innocent. Then I licked my dry lips before stroking his cock slowly, watching in fascination as it kept pulsing. I leaned my head down, giving the tip a tentative lick.

  His body tensed immediately, a sharp breath escaping him all the while he didn’t say a word.

  Eager for more, I kept licking, pressing the flat of my tongue more firmly against him. I alternated between my hand and tongue, taking my time like he was an esxtra special treat—which, in a way, he was.

  Wanting some more reaction, I wrapped my lips around him, sinking as slowly as I could. It was quite an adjustment, and I had to rely on my gag reflex as he kept going deeper and deeper. More strangled sounds came out of his mouth, urging me on until he finally neared my throat.

  I paused. Then I slid my mouth back out, touching my lips to his tip again before I slid his shaft back in.

  It was a slow, exciting process, and I did my best to follow what pleased him the most based on how loud he groaned out. Words spilled out his mouth, said in a husky, aroused tone as he instructed me directions. I was growing wet from that voice alone, but I ignored my own needs and focused on his. I kept licking. I sucked at him. I played with my fingers, reaching his balls and rubbing them against the rough part of my palm as I sucked. His hands moved to my hair, directing me at first—but as I sucked harder and bobbed my head faster, those hands went slack as the level of control he built up slowly crumbled right in front of me.

  His eyes glazed. His mouth opened in rapture, and his body writhed. My own body was on fire, drunk with the power of what I was doing and how it affected him. I was so turned on, all I wanted to do was sit on his lap and ride him. But more than that, I wanted to watch him fall apart—and so I tripled my efforts, steeped in his scent and his taste and growing addicted to it.

  My own desire took over me, and I was blind and deaf to everything but the taste of him. His hands tightened on my hair again, and curses started falling out of his mouth.

  “Honey,” he gasped. “Shit. I’m—”

  He didn’t get to finish his sentence. Gavin’s body tensed once more—then it bucked right before I felt something wet hit the back of my throat, almost making me choke. Instead, I swallowed everything that came out of him, feeling the salty taste slide down. His body racked and shook at the force of his orgasm, intoxicating me as I realized I was the cause of all that.

  When his cock finally finished coming, he growled softly and pulled me up, still being gentle. Then he kissed my mouth, and the lust I felt there had me relaxing just a little bit. There were no declarations of feelings, nor were there promises that would only lead to tears.

  Everything was casual, just as it should be.

  And I tried to keep myself content with that.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  GAVIN

  “Miss York, how does it feel to end January with not a single loss under your name?”

  “It feels wonderful. It feels encouraging, and it makes me want to win some more.”

  “Do you have any special techniques or routines before the big race?”

  “I just practice as much as I can to make sure everything goes smoothly, from my car to my body. Then I just take it from there.”

  “What are your plans for the Big 500?”

  “Plans? Well, I plan to win, if that’s what you mean.”

  Chuckles filled the room, and Honey flashed the crowd a warm smile. This minor race only held a press conference individually, one that was small but filled up with reporters who were noticeably nicer to her now. It only showed how what you gave was also what you got, as Honey was visibly friendlier and open, answering their questions with a candid honesty that obviously had them all pleased. Her charm, which had taken a backseat and had become subdued during the peak of her scandal, was back in full force now.

  And really, no one stood a chance against that.

  “She’s really back to her old self.” Sara’s voice floated beside me, and I turned to look at her. We were both standing on the sidelines, me guarding Honey as per usual and her doing her random, spontaneous visits. It was nice to see that despite Sara’s busy schedule with the start of the year, she still found time to check in on Honey and make sure she was well taken care of—as a proper manager should.

  “She’s always been the same,” I said.

  “In private, yes. But she lost some of her spark because of that nastiness. Now it’s back.”

  And it was a spark that had everyone enraptured, for sure.

  The second placer, Viktor Igor, was standing on the sidelines on the other end, waiting for his turn in the press conference. His eyes were focused on Honey, too, and there was no missing the admiration in his gaze as she kept talking. One of the reporters made a friendly joke, one that had Honey’s eyes widening before she threw her head back in a loud laugh. Her hair shone redder when she moved, and Viktor disappeared from my sight as she became the only one I saw.

  Shit.

  She was wreaking havoc on my system, and she didn’t even know it.

  Something akin to lust hit me in the belly when it shouldn’t have. I shook it off but decided it was pointless. Lust wasn’t the only thing in me, and I’d learned through the first few days of realizing it that there was no fighting this thing between us.

  If I am being honest, I was scared it would fade away in time, just like it did with Tanya.

  Tanya had been on my mind lately, but not in an I-miss-her kind of thinking. It was more of the memories of our marriage coming back to me, from the dewy-eyed way we entered into it to the frustration of how it ended so badly. Call me a cynic, but that was reality—and it only made me more aware that no matter how ha
ppy I was with Honey right now, there could be a time limit to that, and all I could do was enjoy it while it lasted.

  The problem was, I didn’t really like the thought of whatever we had between us ending.

  It was a pointless thought. It wasn’t realistic at all, and my mind knew that. But my instincts protested it completely, wanting to fight until the very end and make her mine—a scary instinct, really. I wasn’t ready for that, particularly the heartache when our fascination with each other turned to boredom in the long run—then, to resentment, just like the resentment between Tanya and I when our marriage turned into the biggest trap.

  No one needed that.

  When Honey’s press conference was done, she stood up and waved to the crowd, obviously enjoying the positive attention. I grinned, liking how joyful her mood was today. She sauntered towards Viktor, whom she flashed a smile to. She even took his hand, an obvious congratulatory gesture as she was obviously happy for his win. Viktor squeezed the hand she held, his eyes sparking and his shoulders straightening as he leaned towards Honey to whisper something in her ear.

  The grin slowly slid off from my face.

  What he said must have been amusing, because Honey’s face lit up. Then she laughed again, and even though I couldn’t hear it, I could feel it deep in my bones, where it burned bright and had me thinking of dragging her away from here and away from Viktor—that was, after I punched him on the face. It was such a barbaric thought that I had to physically step back and order my mental state to follow.

  “Gavin? What’s wrong?”

  Belatedly, I realized that Sara was still beside me. A quick glance in their direction confirmed that Viktor was now being called to the center, and Honey had slipped to the side and away from sight.

  “Nothing,” I muttered, forcing my expression to be calm as I turned back to Sara. She was eyeing me closely, carefully, and I knew behind that serene face of hers was a sharp mind. “I just thought I saw something, but it was nothing. Do you have to head out soon?”

  Sara nodded. “Yes. I need to get back in the office for a meeting in half an hour. Can you tell Honey to come by later? We haven’t really started discussing her new contract yet, and I want to personally let her know the surprise I have for her.”

  “Such as?”

  “A better endorsement deal, for one. You’re certainly curious.” Sara’s voice was light. Treading.

  “Just looking out for my charge,” I shot back evenly.

  “Hmm.”

  “I’ll let her know. I’ll probably end up driving her there, anyway. She prefers the passenger seat after a race.”

  “Then come join us for dinner after, if you’re free.”

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  She left, and I was left to look for Honey. I found her at the back of the conference room, chatting up a girl and signing an autograph for the girl’s father—a young father, by the looks of it.

  A father who obviously had the hots for her.

  My protective instincts kicked up, but I purposely stepped back and let it simmer. Vibrations trembled in my stomach and my chest area, and I recognized it for what it was the moment I heard Honey and the dad laughing together: jealousy, bright and as green as they came. It had no place here, and I wasn’t about to make a scene. But they took a while, and I quietly seethed and tried not to roar in place like some kind of monster.

  It took counting numbers to distract myself, and I used it fully. Perhaps I was too preoccupied because it wasn’t until I smelled her jasmine scent and felt her arms wrap around me from behind that I realized the father and daughter were gone. She stood on tiptoe and kissed me on the shoulder, and it was such a playful move that something in me snapped.

  I whirled around and caught her in my arms. Then I began pulling her out of there, making her gasp.

  “Gavin? Where are we going?”

  “Somewhere,” I muttered. “Just come with me.” While speaking, my eyes were everywhere, looking for a certain location and not stopping until I found it. I opened the door, which as predicted led to some kind of special restroom that was for single use. It had a sink and a mirror, and a stall on the far right.

  Without a word, I ushered Honey in and followed her, locking the door. Questions slid from her mouth, but I ignored them as I pushed her against the sink.

  Then I took her mouth in a hard, hungry kiss that had her gasping again.

  It was a kiss that consumed and didn’t leave space for breath. It was a kiss that took over us as the need rose, and in just a few seconds, Honey was melting in my arms and kissing me back for all she was worth. Something like triumph slid inside me as I felt her own hunger, as her hands pulled me closer until I was pressed against her. But it wasn’t enough, so I pulled back and started sliding her skirt up.

  “Gavin!” Honey gasped again, her eyes widening. But they blurred almost instantly when I kissed her neck, and her hands started moving to my pants. “Are we…?”

  “Yes,” I growled.

  There was no protest after that.

  Our hands got busy. She unzipped my pants and simply slid my cock out, then took my shirt off and tossed it in the sink. I yanked her straps down until her breasts were free—free for my hands and my mouth to play with and tease as I pleased, and she had no protest at all as she urged me on. I sucked on one while I grazed the other, then alternated to give both nipples proper attention. They perked against my touch, and it only fed my arousal.

  Wanting more, I yanked her legs apart and slid her panties to the side. Then I plunged my tongue down her center, and the way her body bucked had me repeating the plunging motion as I realized this was a drug on its own.

  She placed a hand over her mouth and stifled her scream, even while her hips rode me. I whispered things that jumbled in my mind: about how wet and good she tasted, about how I wanted her to grind against me for all she was worth. I inserted a finger in, spread her further and lapped her all up, stopping only when she was nearing her peak and about to explode.

  Then I surged my body up, ignoring her whine of protest to continue. And I replaced my mouth with my cock, plunging inside her in one smooth motion.

  Her body jolted, and her mouth opened. She exploded then and there, and we rode the waves as her muscles clenched against me and had me gritting my teeth. I braced one hand on the counter and started thrusting inside her, timing my rhythm with her clenching until she got down from her instant high. I basked in that orgasm, using it to further harden myself—basked in it and kept at it, turning thrusting to pounding until it built up for her again and I had to stifle her moans with long, wet kisses.

  It wasn’t long before I was poised on that edge, too. With one last thrust, I let go and released myself inside her, feeling her clench around me again as her second orgasm hit her. We clung to each other, sweaty and smelling of sex, our breaths sharp and fast as we tried to get our winds back.

  When it returned, something heavy and regretful settled in my stomach at my loss of control.

  It made me angry. It made me pull away from her, slipping my cock back into my pants and putting my shirt back on. Surprise filled her eyes. Then she followed my movements, and I tried not to look at her as Tanya flashed in my mind again.

  But Honey was more perceptive than that, and she wasn’t the type to ignore it.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Silence filled the air.

  “Tanya,” I finally said.

  Recognizing my ex-wife’s name, I didn’t miss the darkening of her eyes, indicating shock. Her head reeled back as if I slapped her.

  Then shock was replaced by anger, and her hand was coming up to connect on my cheek.

  I didn’t evade the slap because I knew I deserved it.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  HONEY

  I didn’t know what to feel, especially when he started explaining.

  “It’s not what you think.”

  “So what is it, exactly?”

  Gavin leaned against t
he wall, obviously struggling with words. But I refused to let it go and refused to say anything else, even while the urge to apologize for slapping him nagged at me. Instead, I crossed my arms and waited.

  “I can’t stop thinking about what happened to our marriage and how it all started like this.”

  “Like this?”

  “Like this. Having sex wherever and whenever we pleased. Letting lust dictate what we did, like what’s happening to us now. Letting it boil into obsession. It’s unhealthy, and not just for me.”

  I got what he was saying, I really did. But the sting of being compared to his ex-wife still lingered. The problem wasn’t that I was jealous or anything like that, considering I’d never really met her and I knew their marriage was shitty.

  It was the fact that it was shit and he thought our relationship, whatever this was, was similar.

  My chest hurt and is was hard to take a proper breath. I resisted the urge to fist my hand on it and knock a few times. Clarity came, one so bright that it made me weak in the knees. The decision was both of ours, but I suddenly realized I desperately needed to make it first and spare everyone the embarrassment later.

  So I straightened my shoulders. I took a deep breath.

  “That’s the most brutally honest and insulting thing someone has ever said to me…well, aside from what the reporters used to throw out.”

  He winced but nodded his head. He took a step forward, and I shook my head.

  “Honey…”

  “You said what you had to say, now let me have my say.”

  “Okay.”

  “If this is going to end up that way, then I don’t want any part of it. I have my life ahead of me, Gavin, and I’m just starting to get used to it again. If you don’t have feelings…”

  “I don’t have the feelings you need.”

  I looked down at his confirmation and braced myself against the invisible punch. Then I nodded. “Right. I don’t, either.” When I looked up, there was already a decided expression on my face. “So let’s just end this.”

  “Honey…”